Read my fairy tale, character oriented comic script HERE

My Comic Script Adadptation: The Garden Party

THE GARDEN PARTY

Story by Katherine Mansfield

Adapted by Katherine Murray

15 page comic script

Last revision: January 23 2014

CHARACTER NOTES

Laura- Young, well mannered and lively. Dark haired beauty.

Mrs. Sheridan (Mother) – Queen of the operation.

Gideon- Handsome and well-mannered brother to Laura.

Josee- Wears kimono. Beautiful older sister to Laura.

Meg- sister to Laura. Subordinate to Jose.

ART NOTES

Aristocratic world is drawn neatly and delicately. Peasant folk are drawn more roughly. Styles meet in the end, when Laura takes her journey and learns about the world.

PAGE ONE

PANEL ONE

Encompasses the page. Establishing shot looking from the garden back at the house. Grandiose, comfortable, angelic, fertle.

PANEL TWO

Close up of Laura’s hand touching a flower as she passes

PANEL THREE

Close view of the back of Laura’s bodice, hair flowing, her arms positioned in a way to lift the front of her dress as she walks, rows of huge rose bushes around her.

PANEL FOUR

Close up of her shoe taking a step onto the porch.

PAGE TWO

PANEL ONE

View from the table looking dead center at Laura. Laura approaches her sisters, who are sitting and sipping tea in the mid-ground.

Jose: “Laura dear, there you are.”

PANEL TWO

Farther away view of the porch, we can see people bustling about inside the house. Laura is leaning over the table to get a peace of toast.

Jose: “Mother requests that you handle some of the arrangements this time.”

PANEL THREE

With the sisters shadowed in the foreground, Laura bustles into the garden.

PANEL FOUR

Waist-up view of Laura giving a polite bow to a passer-by. Passer by is male and very proper.

PANEL FIVE

Large, rough men appear in front of Laura. We see her reaction to them.

PAGE THREE

PANEL ONE

From behind Laura, we see three large grungy workmen, obviously lower-class sorts.

Worker: “Where should we put this here marquee, miss?”

PANEL TWO

Laura glances at the toast in her hand.

PANEL THREE

Laura hides the toast and assumes an aristocratic, in-charge expression, posture corrected.

PANEL FOUR

Laura points off-panel, her mouth open explaining where to set up.

PAGE FOUR

PANEL ONE

We see the backs of the workers, they’re jostling each other playfully and one of them is singing.

PANEL TWO

Bust shot of Laura holding toast, (slightly over the shoulder view) glancing back at her sisters being dainty.

PANEL THREE

Sisters having tea, Meg wiping mouth with embroidered cloth, Jose gossiping.

PANEL FOUR

Laura taking a big, messy and rebellious bite of her toast, quite un-lady like. Style becomes slightly sketchier here.

PAGE FIVE

The following panels are a montage.

PANEL ONE Laura on the phone, servants around her bustling.

PANEL TWO Laura helping her sisters and servants moving the piano.

PANEL THREE Her sister with the cook and sandwiches.

PANEL FOUR Laura and the abundance of canna lilies being delivered.

PAGE SIX

PANEL ONE

Laura has just excitedly grabbed Gideon’s hands and his pulling him in the direction of the foreground.

Laura: “Don’t you simply love parties, Gideon?”

Gideon: “Come, let’s see the garden.”

PANEL TWO

Tone changes to serious/dark as we find a murmuring crowd by the door.

PANEL THREE

Looking through the crowd to the Delivery man, he looks serious.

“Been a horrible accident.”

PANEL FOUR

Close up of Delivery Man’s mouth.

“A man killed.”

PAGE SEVEN

This page shows the death of this man; it is dark and scary. Shows the house and working man. Shows man getting thrown from horse. Shows the family in shadows, the wife and five kids.

PAGE EIGHT

PANEL ONE

People disperse around Laura, in the center of the panel. She looks concerned and saddened.

PANEL TWO

Mother Putting on makeup, stuff and vanity visible in the foreground. There is a knocking at the door.

            Laura: “Mother?”

            Mrs. Sheridan: “Come in dear.”

PANEL THREE

Laura entering the room and shutting the door behind her.

            Laura: “Mother, a man’s been killed.”

            Mom: “Not in the garden?”

            Laura: “No, no!”

            Mom: “Oh what a fright you gave me!”

PANEL FOUR

Simple side view of Laura approaching mother’s vanity table, having just sat down in the chair next to her vanity.

Laura: “We can’t have the garden-party, can we? The band and everybody arriving. The townsfolk would hear.”

PANEL FIVE

Mirror’s view of the mother placing the hat on Laura.

Mom: “You are being absurd, Laura. People like that don’t expect sacrifices from us.”

PAGE NINE

PANEL ONE

Laura looking gorgeous in the hat.

Mom: “Oh Darling! The hat is yours. It was too young for me.”

PANEL TWO

Using the same Laura from the previous panel, fade into her standing at the party.

PANEL THREE

Zoom out, full body of Laura, the guests and party clearly visible around her.

PANEL FOUR

Mother greeting the couples enjoying themselves.

PANEL FIVE

The band playing.

PANEL SIX

Table’s POV, the luxurious snacks being taken.

PANEL SEVEN

The sun getting low.

PANEL EIGHT

Several ushers at the gate say farewell to the last guests, helping them into cars. A woman in the car is waving farewell.

Mother: “It couldn’t have been a more successful party.”

PAGE TEN

PANEL ONE

Our aristocratic family is reclining, exhausted, in their living room, upon gilded and gaudy couches. Laura is on the end of a couch, her head leaning back. There are servants still cleaning up from the party visible outside.

                        Gideon: “Indeed, Mother.”

PANEL TWO

Over the shoulder view of Laura. Looking into another room across the hallway. She sees the cook cleaning up the kitchen, leftover treats on the table.

PANEL THREE

Close up of the food.

PANEL FOUR

Close up on Laura.

Jose: “Aunt May’s hat looked dashing, didn’t it?”

Mother: “As always!”

PAGE ELEVEN

PANEL ONE

Laura is at the door, stepping into her shoes, a large basket full of the food on her arm.

Laura:“I’m taking this to that peasant family who lost their father. It’s perfectly good food to waste.”

Mother: “Very good darling. People of that class are so impressed by these things. Be quick about it love.”

PANEL TWO

It’s dusk. Laura approaches the threshold to the lower-class town. Style gets sketchier.

PANEL THREE

Warped worm’s eye view of Laura in the town. A dog is lurking. Shadows are on the walls.

PANEL FOUR

 View of townsfolk glancing at Laura by the walls of their homes. Feels grungy and uncomfortable.

PANEL FIVE

Bust-up of shot Laura. She tugs down her gaudy hat and hurries along. Stylistic difference in drawing is incredibly obvious now. 

PAGE TWELVE

PANEL ONE

POV for Laura, we approach the house, a crowd of silent dark figures around the entrance.

PANEL TWO

Low angle shot of Laura walking in between the parted folk towards the entrance. She is sweeping the ribbon of her hat behind her shoulder and looking nervous.

PANEL THREE

POV of Laura, her hands and basket barely visible in the corners of the panel. We are looking in on the poor family around the fire. A second old woman is in the foreground and is motioning to come in.

PANEL FOUR

Zoom in on wife, who’s turned to face us, her expression swollen and in pain.

PANEL FIVE

Camera is looking at Laura in the entrance. Laura has just set the basket down and is standing back up, her arms up as if to say ‘I’ll be leaving now’. Her eyes are looking towards the second old woman, who is gesturing her towards another room, invitingly.

PAGE THIRTEEN

PANEL ONE

Woman leading Laura shadowed in the foreground, Laura looking like she’d rather leave, but has politely followed.

PANEL TWO

Woman hold door to bedroom open, where we can see the silhouette of the dead man resting.

PANEL THREE

Dead man shadowed in foreground, Laura approaches.

PANEL FOUR

 A clear, straight-on, overhead view of the dead man. He breaks out of this panel and consumes the majority of the page. While the style is sketchy, he seems angelic and at peace.

PAGE FOURTEEN

PANEL ONE

Tight panel of Laura looking at the dead man. It should feel personal and intimate.

PANEL TWO

Close up on Laura’s face. She is in awe, but not afraid. Her stylization becomes sketchier and matches that of the dead man’s. Her style stays this way from now on.

PANEL THREE

Outside of building, Laura is shown exiting in a slightly hurried fashion. Dark figures still looming. Gideon is visible, waiting to receive her.

PAGE FIFTEEN

PANEL ONE

Waist-up shot of Laura and Gideon, she has just taken his arm.

            Gideon: “Mother was getting worried.”

PANEL TWO

Gideon’s POV of Laura. She looks sad but excited.

            Gideon: “Was it awful?”

            Laura: “Gideon, isn’t life--“

PANEL THREE

Laura’s POV of Gideon. He is smiling warmly, taking her back to their comfortable lives.

Laura: “Isn’t life---“

PANEL FOUR

Worm’s eye view of Laura and Gideon exiting the peasant town. They are not relatively small in the panel, focusing more on the environments. Their manor is visible at the top of the hill. The foreground is sketchy.

            Gideon: “Isn’t it?”

END.

Week One: Notes over comic techniques

Short stories adapted: How are the artist telling the stories?

HELL ON EARTH
Storyboard-like, strait-forward style. Nothing fancy with the paneling itself.
Page 10- effectively distorts text boxes to match mood of scene.
Page 11- as the action heats up, the panels actually do change. Because they were stagnant before, it has good impact.

NIGHTWINGS
I like this! Exciting paneling, out-of-panel action to keep the action flowing. Love the colors. Personal narrative style.

FROST AND FIRE
Well, the sketchier, inky style certainly would fit a Ray Bradbury story…
next!

MERCHANTS OF VENUS
Feels more like an Archie comic. Maybe it's the yellow text balloons.
In-head narration in yellow, speech bubbles the usual white. Makes it easy to follow. Love the paneling and characters.
Page 16- Nice POV to bring excitement into a talking scene.

DEMON WITH A GLASS HAND
Simple compositions with plenty of space for conversational word balloons. More detailed scenes when there are NO word balloons. Keeps the reader's focus exactly where the artist wants.
'Acts' are included in the narrative, like a play.

THE MAGIC GOES AWAY
The initial of each paragraph helps set the mood. Feels like we are embarking on 'ye old tale' adventure.
Realistic characters, interesting to look at.
Page 8- Epic page for the old man's backstory. The monochrome images placed around the whole layout of the page create a montage.
Page 12- The use of color is powerful in this comic. Violence = red

SANDKINGS
Busy panels of the city take us instantly into the world of this Simon character.